This sentiment rang true throughout 2024, right up until the very last...
This potent wisdom came from a beloved friend of mine, and when it was spoken, it felt like the whole world suddenly made sense whilst opening up so many more roads for emotional inquiry.
These last few years I feel like I have been in situations within my personal relationships where I didn't know what to expect, the friendliness of a smile suddenly sharpened into a veiled look of disdain. The energy of one's actions weren't matching the words that were spoken and there was an air of reservation and dare I admit, exclusion when it came to social events and interactions... I constantly felt under attack yet I couldn't pin point exactly where the danger was coming from? Upon reflection of the timelines I was weaving in and out of I couldn't recall where it all went wrong? I instantly shifted the blame onto myself, as I have done so time and time again when faced with these predicaments... The funny part is, I think I knew deep down that what I was sensing, the nicety, it was all a façade, an act, an illusion and somewhere along the way I began to see through these behaviours and situations, but I chose to avert my eyes, and awareness of my awareness grew...
More inquiry arose.. why play the fool? Why pretend all is well when clearly all is not? Well it's simple really, in walks the People Pleaser, the wounded Maiden, the girl who is afraid to speak her heart out of fear of rejection, out of 'stirring the pot', fear that all her worries are unfounded as they are logically unprovable...
But this time, in this particular instance, I called the people pleaser in me out, I told her outright, stop, look, listen.. something is a miss.. and sure enough it was. The moment I admitted the truth to myself.. my self worth, confidence and power slowly but surely began to return..
These persons, places situations I found myself around that once drained me of my strength and emotional fortitude, began to recede from my heart and mind, relinquishing their grip..
There was an alchemy in this moment, a potential realised within me, that when I honour my own inner knowing, when I truly live in alignment with my soul and trust that spirit is guiding me, I am liberated..
No longer am I seeking validation from the unworthy external sources which sought only to wound me and covet my gifts. A deep realisation set in that the only person who should ever hold sway over my path, is me, and the only influence which should guide me, is that of the great divine...
Once this realisation permeated into the spaces of my mind, body and soul, the knots began to unravel, and spirit saw fit to remove me from spaces which were no longer aligned.. And for that I am eternally grateful. Grateful for the lesson, grateful for the healing of a very deep shadow which has long resided and held sway over me...for the space it has created for a more beautiful, authentic and loving community to come in; one I surround myself with and that I am apart of. I am reborn with a greater sense of purpose and clarity in my work and path as a spiritual practitioner, mother, wife and woman.. and most importantly that inner child, that maiden who felt the need to keep the peace.. she is free, free to frolic and be who she was meant to be, no longer gauging a reaction for fear or reprisal, no longer dulling herself down to meet the expectations of her peers and no longer suppressing her POWER. She is who she was meant to be, and she is me..
So, in short, the reason for my share here, is because in reflection of this year I feel we have all been encouraged in one way or another to perform this purge, heal the inner people please, realise that maybe we aren't living in alignment with our hearts truth, maybe we are sacrificing our joy and spirit to keep others happy, and thus keeping ourselves meager. My invitation for you in the new year is to perform an honest inquiry into where it is in your life that you may be feeling oppressed or living out of alignment? Where does your soul truly wish to be? Who do you want on that journey with you? Are there people and places which you know in your gut are wrong for you? Where are you gaslighting yourself out of feelings or trying to logically explain it away? Because chances are you are actually trying to suppress the truth for fear of reprisal, fear that you are going to lose it all, and chances are you might.
But... if you aren't truly happy where you are or who your with, then one could also ask, what are you actually going to lose from walking away?
As I said in the beginning of this musing, 'Everyone is always operating at their best, but that doesn't mean their best is good enough for you'.
The invitation here is to allow yourself to make space for all the beautiful things that are meant for you, aligned with you, calling your soul, follow that, follow the call from spirit! It's painful work but so much is to be gained from beginning your journey towards healing, and if you are on the other side of this as I seem to very nearly be, then I want to honour you and your bravery, and commitment to your own spiritual personal evolution.
🙏🏼🌹✨🫂
I would love to make another offer to you, while you are here with me.
If you are seeking to cultivate community and guidance on your journey through personal and spiritual evolution, I would love to extend an offer of Mentorship xx
If you are familiar with me and my work then you will already know I offer a couple of Mentoring sessions where we work together to highlight areas of spiritual exploration you may be intuitively drawn to explore with the aid of someone who has experience (aka me, haha!)
These sessions are completely tailored to your needs and can range from esoteric academic pursuits of knowledge, through to channelled journeying and meditative experiences as well as spell/ritual crafting with your intentions in mind xx
I'm currently offering 10% off my mentoring packages for those who feel called to work with me and are aligned with my ethos and Magick xx
USE CODE: MENTOR25
It would be my honour to walk alongside you and watch you grow as the powerful spiritual being you are!
Check out the links below for more details on how to book xx
Love Tay xx
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